Mike Focht 3/13/2026
Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself; is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Love is a word that is used a lot in our sexually debased culture. Most of the time, it is used outside of any biblical context and related to highly sexualized context. Sexual sin distorts God’s idea of love by twisting its meaning and making it self-focused. Sadly, there are many Christians who are given over to pornography, self-gratification, and outright ungodly sexual pursuits. Even worse, many would call themselves Christians who defend and even cheer the standard, worldly, unsaved versions of this sexualized “love”.
I am not attempting to answer all these problems. I want to make one point that may help someone struggling in our current culture of sexual sin. Growing in spiritual maturity will put us on a path of learning to love God’s way. This may seem elementary or unrelated, but it actually relates to more than we might think. We will never learn to love the way God loves by simply trying to love our spouse or future spouse with purity. Turning away from sensual pictures is one way to love others, but we cannot limit our growth in godly love to moments of sexual temptation. Purity regarding sexuality is one way godly love looks. It is a fruit of true biblical love.
Our growth in godly romantic or sexual love, specifically, will be directly related to our growth in godly love in general. A man who loves his wife, daughters, and female friends with pure and godly love is a man who will love everyone in his life with that same godly love. It is a mistake to think that I can focus and grow in the love God wants in one area while ignoring the love God wants in other areas of my life. Love, as Paul describes in this passage, is what we must learn. Do not only focus on love that lives in sexual purity, because that is only one portion of the pure love God wants to develop in you.
Turn away from pornography, but also ask God to give you the love you need to treat your spouse and children with kindness and longsuffering.
Take impure thoughts captive to Christ, but also take unloving, envious, prideful, greedy, violent, and self-adoring thoughts captive.
Yes, we ought to cease from filthy sexual speech, but we also ought to focus on seeking God’s love to cease rude behavior, laughing at sinful jokes, and seeking our own at the expense of others. Loving God’s way will force us to treat others with patience, preference, and purity.
Ask God for His strength to keep you from adulterous intentions or interactions at work, but also ask God to keep you from being provoked to angry responses, thinking evil of others, rejoicing in ungodliness, and laziness.
The Holy Spirit is not trying to instill one type of love in you without the other. The Holy Spirit will shed the love of God abroad in our hearts, and the love of God touches every aspect of our lives. God promises to give if we ask, but the pure river of God’s love will run into every aspect of our lives. Don’t limit the love of God!